h.

My friend is moving to Ontario.

My friend and I rarely see each other, and actually don't even communicate via internet often.
We run into each other every once in awhile and sometimes I send her a message with some question about life or death or heaven or faith.

That's probably not going to change.
I'll probably still run into her, even if it's less frequent.  And I'm sure I'll still have burning questions that I'll come to her with.

So, it's a little odd to me how sad I am about her move.  But it's true.  I am sad and I'm going to miss her.  Not like the people of her church.  Not like her neighbors or dear friends or family.  My sadness is much less profound because I am not losing so much--our interactions will look almost identical to when she lived right here, except for our recent meetings at JP's...  Nevertheless, this sadness is real.  And I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship, that I will miss her.

But as I wander around the bittersweet feelings in my heart, I feel the pangs of sadness and goodbye and the heartache that comes with those, and I feel anticipation and excitement and hope for what lies ahead, but, most of all, I feel grateful.

H, I am so grateful for you.  Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement, for answering--or trying to answer--all of my questions.  Thank you for your hugs and your conversations and your prayers.  Thank you for letting yourself be used by God in so many ways in my life.  You have been instrumental in many ways.  You have been a role model, perhaps without knowing so.  And although I'm saying goodbye to the chances of running into you at our third place, I'm so grateful that I don't need to say goodbye to you.

I don't know why I feel such a need to write this to you, or why I'm not just sending it to you in a message, but this is for you.  It's not much, but it is genuine, as are the prayers I am continually praying for you, your family, and all the goodbyes and hellos in the days ahead.  Peace, my friend, and much love.